When A HUG MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME............

Ramai orang tertanya-tanya bagaimana I tabah hidup tanpa suami di sisi, bukannya janda bukannya ibu tunggal tetapi isteri yang terpaksa ditinggalkan demi mencari rezeki di bumi asing yang tidak mungkin dapat tinggal bersama ( my darling works with an oil company on an island in uae and the island is accessible only to the employees who can only fly in and out of the island on designated dates … )

I am totally a liar if I say I’m always running my daily life smooth as silk because I’m a super mom and wife….. I’m still trying to cope with my family so as to ‘make’ it happy and always fill with joy … Having a darling who involves in this ‘oily’ and ‘gassy’ business is not an easy life…It’s been sometime now that I’ve been away from my darling might it be abroad or homeland….

Alhamdulillah , I’m very much blessed with a peaceful and wonderful life so far.. my kids are okay and me, well sometimes I do feel lonely not having my darling around, but most of the time I’m fine.

I’m not gonna write on how strong I am living apart …I just cannot forget 2 major incidents that I wish my darling was there ………

End of 2004….school holidays….my hubby was attached to a gas company southern part of Vietnam….

Incident 1.

That night on my way back home after sending Sumayyah for her tuition class and on that particular night our surau had a BBQ night, so Izzat didn’t come with me to the tuition centre ( usually I brought izzat as my co-pilot since I couldn’t really drive at night ) I was only with mimi.

When I came to a junction not far from the tuition centre, I looked to the left. Then to the right and to the left again ( I’m a mommy driver with a toddler in my car …extra careful ) , I then turned right……

BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG......

In a split seconds I saw somekind of a coconut banged on my front shield screen..it’s not a coconut, it’s a man’s head and the head ‘cracked’ my car… He was on his motorbike with no lights and no helmet and it was a kampong street ( kemaman is a kampong )…

People started to gather to see what’s going on..I got out of my car and I said…

.” Saya tak nampak, dia tak de lampu, maaf , saya memang tak nampak langsung… “ I tried to justify myself….

I saw the man was lying on the road with pool of blood all over his body….then I heard this man said to me….

“ Tak pe , akak balik dulu, nanti buat polis report….kami bawak dia ke hospital …”

I was actually so scared to still be standing there because there was an accident happened before in the same kampong where my friend (makcik like me ) knocked down a boy….she was punched on her face right there and then….I didn’t know who was the man telling me to just go away from the scene,.. I headed backhome and went straight to the surau where all the AJK were busy with the BBQ… they saw me coming with my front car light / mirror broken and smacked a little….

I was shivering and was so scared …only Allah knew how fast my heart beat that night told them what happened…. Alhamdulillah they were very much helpful and they settled the case with the police and even went to the hospital to see what happened to the man…he was in a coma….later that night all the pakciks surau asked me not to go out for a while nd they would help me with whatever condition it might be later….

I was in a state of being a ‘bingong’ mind for three days…I kept seeing the head smashed in front of my eyes, I kept on ‘listening’ to people coming to my house looking for the murderer, I was totally insane at that time…..luckily the man did not die…he was conciouss the next day and his family brought him back to his kampong(he wasn’t from kemaman )…he didn’t lodge a police report ( the police went to the scene right after I lodge the report, but it was clear, no blood, no motorbike on the road )smebody told me the motorbike had no roadtax and the rider had no license…basically case closed….

I was still scared, I didn’t park my car in my porch …afraid that the villagers came to smack me down….I was terribly scared for three days… I called my hubby and asked him to come back…

“ Abang, baliklah bang, I takut sangat, I tak boleh apa-apa, I memang benar-benar takut, please abang , baliklah… “ that’s how desperate I was begging him to come back…

“ Mana boleh balik, ni betul-betul tngah shut-down …..takpe abang dah mintak AJK surau bantu you, don’t worry, “… my hubby pengerusi surau dekat kawasan rumah kami…he just couldn’t come back..just couldn’t.

Only Allah knew how much I wished my darling was there …I was really in need of the biggest comfort ever…

A HUG…yes..A HUG from my lover to comfort me ( I’m sobbing while writing this !! )

I didn’t want any other than that….. I couldn’t control myself Icried and cried and I didn’t do anything for three days…( sumayah and izat took care of everything inside the house, they looked so sad seeing my sorrow condition )…

I prayed to GOD to please give back my strength, my determination, my cheerfulness…My friends came to comfort me and a few even brought ‘air penawar’ away from Kerteh just to rebuild my ‘spirit’…

Out of no where…on the fourth day…after I performed my subh prayer…I was all brave again… I got this in mind…

“ Why must I be afraid of them ( the orang kampong ).. because they are the ones who should be blamed. He rode his bike with no license, no lights, no road-tax… I am the one who should ask them to pay for the damage they had done to my car ( cost me RM3000) “….

Then the strength came little by little… by the following week I was back on the road but still couldn’t take ‘that’ road… not until more than a month I was totally out of of my night mare…..

Incident 2…. To be continued….

So, I hope no more compliment after this….. I’m an ordinary woman with an ordinary strength…

Oh boy…… Then only I knew how much A HUGGGGGGGGGGGG meant to me….